From Reins to Rhythm: Lessons in Leadership from the Saddle and the Dance Floor

When you become a dance instructor, you become a student of human behavior. Which came first, I’m not sure, because I’d argue the best dance instructors have always been fascinated by what makes people tick.

One of my favorite aspects of dance is studying the dynamic between the lead and the follow. I use the word dynamic intentionally, it’s alive, changing, breathing, and yet rooted in something steady.

As I watch couples navigate the floor, I notice the moment a follow truly surrenders to her role, that soft exhale when trust meets rhythm. I’m equally curious about the lead: what energy does he bring into his frame? How does he communicate? And at what moment does the partnership start to click... or come undone?

(Yes, now you all know exactly what I’m thinking while I’m watching you dance.)

Over the years, I’ve realized that dancing has a lot in common with working horses. Now, I won’t claim to be the best horsewoman out there, but after forty years in the saddle, I’ve learned a few things about communication, timing, and leadership, lessons that apply as much to the arena as they do to the dance floor.

1. Step Into Your Role Right Away

When you work with a horse, you establish leadership immediately. You don’t wait halfway through the ride to decide who’s steering. The same is true in dance. From the very first touch, the lead must step into his role, confident, clear, and grounded.

Set your frame, move with purpose, and don’t get pulled off balance. When a gal asks you to dance, great, say yes, smile, and take the reins. You’re entering into a partnership, you are not agreeing to become a post for her to spin around.

2. Breathe Out

Humans, like horses, hold their breath when they’re nervous. Tight muscles, rigid posture, shallow breathing… it all translates into tension your partner can feel.

If you’re working with a flighty horse or a timid follow, the quickest way to settle both of you is to exhale. That simple release tells your body (and theirs): we’re safe here. When you breathe, your energy softens, and that softness builds trust.

3. Detach from the Outside World

Dogs barking? Ignore them, and your horse will too. People watching you dance? Let them. Your ex staring from across the room? Let ’em watch.

Your focus sets the tone for your partner’s experience. If you give attention to distractions, so will your follow. Awareness is good, but attachment to the noise around you breaks the connection. The best leads are present, calm, and tuned in to one thing: the partnership.

4. Look Where You’re Going, But Check In

Horses and humans both respond to intention. When you focus clearly on where you’re headed, your partner feels that direction. Waver, and they’ll hesitate too.

Lead with purpose — but don’t forget your follow. If your eyes are glued to the path and not the partnership, she’ll feel disconnected. Offer her reassurance: intentional eye contact, a few measures of basics, or a smile that says, you’re doing great.

(And just to be clear — while a gentle pat works wonders for a horse, it’s best left in the barn. On the dance floor, stick to connection through rhythm and respect.)

5. Trust

Every good leader eventually has to take that step of faith — to trust that the follow will come with them. It’s the same leap every rider takes when they ask a horse to move forward for the first time: Will they go with me?

Trust can’t be forced. It’s earned through consistency, presence, and belief in yourself. Approach each dance (or ride) with quiet confidence, and remember, women and horses can both smell fear.

Many of our dancers are challenged with establishing their lead or the challenge of sinking into the follow role. Private lessons are a great place to start. Book here!